How To Move Beyond People Pleasing And Into Authenticity with Alex Hardy
And navigating life changes that come with inner transformation
Listen on iTunes, Spotify, or YouTube.
If you like reading or listening to this podcast, feel free to click the ❤️ or 🔄 button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack 🙏
A lot of times the sexy topics related consciousness don’t actually reflect the challenges most of us face when we’re on the transformational journey.
As interesting as topics like subtle energy, the nature of reality, or self healing are, most of us are grappling with more practical realities like how to change habits, find more aligned relationships, and be kinder to ourselves.
Today’s conversation is an exploration of how to navigate these liminal transitions that accompany transformation with my dear friend Alex Hardy.
Alex and I are kindred spirits. We both chased the tech entrepreneurship dream and fast living New York City lifestyle only to be underwhelmed by where it all led.
After selling his last startup to Docusign, Alex turned his attention inward in search of deeper meaning and fulfillment.
He’s spent the past few years exploring many facets of his inner world which has resulted in major transformations. With these inner shifts, his external life has had to shift too… and as anyone who has been through this will too you, making these type of changes isn’t exactly a cake walk.
Our conversation starts with the impact of men’s work on his life which is something I don’t have a ton of experience with.
A lot of us don’t really have a space where we can just be ourselves without having to perform. We have struggles, but it can be hard to share them because no one wants to be that person dumping their issues on other people. Based on what Alex shared, it seems like men’s work can be tremendously helpful for this.
Men’s work circles vary, but the general idea is to create a container where guys can just show up and not have to be somebody. I have many female friends who participate in similar containers. These type of groups seem incredibly supportive and needed in a time where the internet makes it so easy to show your best and hide the rest.
Alex also discusses rites of passage and how their lack of existence is impacting our society. Traditional rites of passage provided both a challenge and connection to something greater than yourself such as a higher power. It seems like most modern initiations often have one component, but rarely both. Alex makes the case for why integrating these back into our culture would be a good thing.
We also talk about people pleasing. Many of us have been conditioned to be nice to everyone, but ourselves. I know I was! Alex shares what he’s learned about the distinction between being nice vs. being authentic, and how he has made tremendous progress on stepping into authenticity.
When your inner world changes, the world around you often stays this same. This means that authenticity often comes with making adjustments in your external life.
Alex shares how he’s navigated these shifts in friendships and other fixtures of modernity. One example we chat about is how the relationship to social media can evolve.
If you are going through a spiritual awakening and wondering how to navigate the liminal phases it comes with, I think this conversation might resonate.
Alex provides lots of relatable insight that can inspire you on your journey.
Much love,
- Scott
If you liked reading or listening to this, feel free to click the ❤️ or 🔄 button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack 🙏
Recommended Resources:
Episode Transcript
Show notes:
00:00 - Introduction and Background on Men's Work
02:17 - The Power of Male-Only Spaces
06:28 - The Challenges Faced by Men Today
11:45 - The Importance of Expressing Emotions and Anger
25:03 - Understanding Nice Guy Behavior and Toxic Shame
28:45 - Moving Away from the Nice Guy Mentality
36:31 - Accessing and Integrating Emotions
44:41 - Navigating Friendships during a Spiritual Transformation
50:36 - The Power of Small Acts of Kindness
55:06 - The Importance of Self-awareness and Conscious Relationships