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“How do you stick with meditation? I’ve tried and can’t see to make it a part of my life”
I’ve gotten this question 3 times in the past week from friends. I’m taking it as a sign that perhaps it’s time to share some public thoughts on this.
I documented the evolution of my 10 year meditation journey a few weeks ago. If you read it, you’ll see that life forced me to become a devoted meditator. Initially, this was by threatening me with the prospect of becoming a 25 year old guy with alopecia and no eyebrows. Then years later, my startup stress rollercoaster led to a mini panic attack which finally made it a non-negotiable everyday ritual.
For many people, this is how the shift inward works. You don’t actively choose it. It chooses you by shaking up your existing reality so intensely that you’re forced to throw your hands up and change.
Well how come some people have this and others don’t? It seems like there’s a lot of successful happy people that don’t need to eat dirt in life to the extent that they are redirected inward.
The Karmic interpretation of this is that eventual inward redirection is somewhat predetermined based on someone’s propensity and state evolution based on all lives leading up to this one A simple way to think about it is “soul maturity.” If you believe in this concept, which I do, it means I never really had a choice. I just was under the illusion that I chose to become a meditator.
As fascinating as this is to contemplate, I am not sure this is really helpful for people struggling to meditate.
What is Meditating Really Anyways?
I think a lot of people desire to meditate because they read somewhere that it was a good thing to do. They aren’t even really sure why they are doing it or where it can take you, but they know a lot of smart people do it and say it makes them happier.
I see meditation as just one entry point to the initial overarching goal of stilling or quieting the mind. So instead of being intent on developing a meditation practice, I think it might first be helpful to recognize that what you are trying to achieve is stillness of the mind.
There are many ways you can achieve a break from the incessant mind activity outside of meditation. These modalities include:
Sound (soundbaths, nervous system entrainment like NuCalm)
Breathwork (Othership)
Qigong and Tai-Chi (I learned Qigong here)
Walking in nature
Physical activity (surfing, running, or anything that gets you into a flow state)
Creative work (writing, art, design or anything that get you into a flow state)
So if you really struggle meditating, I recommend exploring these other activities to see if you find them more pleasurable. The goal is to first experience how wonderful the stillness of the mind is, then to develop an affinity for it. The affinity for stillness then blossoms into motivation which is required to deepen any practice.
The reason that the practice of meditation is such a valuable stillness practices is that it’s always accessible. It’s a lot easier to close your eyes and quiet your mind during the workday than to go surfing or even go do a NuCalm sound experience. Moreover, it is my experience as you become a skillful meditator, you can access greater depths of experience more reliably.
What do I mean by that? Well, when I got started I had no idea what was possible with meditation. I just wanted to be less stressed and keep my hair so I didn’t die bald and alone.
Now 10 years later, I see the quiet mind as my most valuable resource that I rely on constantly. It’s a place where I can drop in and get superior answers to any questions I have about life. It’s where spontaneous creativity and strokes of brilliance originate. It’s how I can change my state in any moment if life triggers me. And last and perhaps most importantly, it’s how I can examine my unconscious patterns that surface when I am disturbed by life’s events. These patterns were unconsciously the masters of my life experience for a long time and stand in the way of restoring our true nature which is embodying abundant love, prosperity, peace, and safety.
Mechanically, it’s important to note that once you learn how to quiet your mind, you can then start to engage in more active and direct stillness practices. . Nowadays, it’s not like I just sit there and focus on my breath to perform the activities above. With practice, you start to learn how to use the conscious mind to engage the stillness and bodily sensations to enhance your life. It kind of feels like a mysterious and wonderful dance with a divine, loving best friend that’s always there and always has your back. So when you desire to start meditating, it’s important to know that these potentialities wait for you if you keep going and there’s much more beyond simply feeling the sensations of your nostrils on the inbreath and outbreath.
If you want a great body and are just starting in your fitness journey, seeing a ripped cover model might motivate you to continue on for such an eventual result that may take years of training. Unfortunately, it’s not easy to see the eventual majesty of the inner world if you keep going and treat your practice like a life-long pursuit.
Maybe surfing, qigong or sound can reliably supply these additional features for others like providing higher intelligence to life’s questions because the place in which they emanate from is just the stillness. I’m not sure. But it seems to me that meditation is the most accessible and reliable access point to these greater depths of experience. That’s why I consider these other activities more like preambles or gateway drugs to developing a dedicated stillness practice like meditation that can be turned on at any moment until eventually it becomes your predominant state. Many call this witness consciousness and I described my experience with it here.
So How Do We Get There?
Last night in the stillness, a vision for this chart came into my awareness like an epiphany while doing an evening meditation. Meta, I know. But this is how purifying your consciousness works. When you work on removing everything blocking a more consistent and direct connection to a higher intelligence (pure consciousness), you receive a consistent stream of “ahas” and inspiration around whatever you direct your attention towards. It’s fucking awesome and one of the most profound discoveries of my life.
If you are struggling with meditation, my guess is that you either do not have a high perceived payoff of the activity or you simply haven’t done it enough to begin to develop more skill and enjoyment. Let’s not forget that it might be both!
