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One thing I’ve learned is that there’s letting go and then there’s Capital L Letting Go
The first time I really internalized this lesson was my startup of all places.
I had read David Hawkins’ book “Letting Go'' and all of Michael Singer’s work and really thought I fully grasped the concept. Hawkins talked about how the process of letting go paradoxically gets us what we want citing examples of a doctor healing himself by letting go of his ailments. Michael Singer much more prominently focused on surrendering to the flow of life’s events.
I decided to implore both ideas for my troubles which were mostly related to my health when first encountering this idea. I would focus and feel into the physical discomfort and then actively “Let go.” And then as disturbances would arise across my life, I would acknowledge them and try to let them go in the moment.
I thought I was nailing it.
Then life kind of put me in my place and made me realize I was both selectively and intellectually letting go.
There was a period of time when I really wanted a certain outcome in my business. I was doing all the things I thought necessary to get the outcome I wanted while facing with my triggers and emotions as described here.
It seemed like every time we got close to the outcome happening something would go sideways. It was incredibly demoralizing and frustrating. Each time this happened, I would eventually try to let go of those feelings as best I could.
Then something happened in this pursuit that completely leveled me. It was the last straw that broke my persistent effort. I gave myself a day to pout about it, got on my knees, and declared out loud “Take it! Whatever you want to do here Universe, I am fine with it.”
This time I truly meant it. I was fed up and exhausted with all this toiling. I didn’t give a shit anymore what happened and was indifferent to the outcome.
I had actually Let Go.
After my declaration, I felt an immense relief. It was as if the weight of the world had dropped off my shoulders. The next day the situation around my business started to shift in a more favorable direction and I eventually got the outcome I wanted shortly after that.
It was then that I realized what truly letting go actually meant. It meant complete surrender and trust with how life unfolds even if the outcome was in conflict with my perceived preferences.
To take this posture with a business you’d been working on intensely for over 5+ years was incredibly difficult. I don’t think I would have been able to do it without life bringing me to my knees.
letting go Vs. Capital L Letting Go
This experience made it really clear about the difference between letting go and Capital L Letting Go.
Oftentimes when we are just letting go, we aren’t fully aware of how we are holding on to something. This is how consciousness works. We are unaware of why we behave the way we do, until our awareness expands and we can see the programs and attachments that are quietly running our compulsions.
As you start to see this, you might learn about concepts like how surrendering can get you things or improve your situation. So you almost intellectually surrender in order to get something that you want. It is done as a means to an end vs. a true, deep entrustment of the divine.
This is a shallow version of letting go and more so a new strategy that the ego is running to control and/or pursue an attachment. It’s my observation that reality and circumstances are less likely to shift in this context. Despite your best efforts, you can’t trick the highest power. It knows the context of your letting go no matter how much you try to convince yourself and everyone around you otherwise.
Capital L Letting Go is when you are truly at peace and indifferent to an outcome. It is a deep expression of complete trust in the Divine. It does not mean you don’t exercise intent and right action, but you are deeply okay regardless of how life unfolds.