So much of this resonates with my experience over the last few years. Even in trying to better ourselves, and raise our agency, we modern western humans seem blind to our own progress being intimately tied to that of everyone else. We virtue signal, seek power to “manifest change”, amass knowledge which is ultimately to elevate ourselves. Only through service to others, do we ultimately find our own path forward. It’s a difficult lesson, one I’m still working on.
Reading this makes me nervous in a good way.. I just got Brian’s book and am ready to dive in this week!
I know already exactly where my wall has been and continues to be- and it’s exactly, exactly as you and Brian have stated- I have to expand beyond the wall- and it’s absolutely terrifying but I know it’s the way.
Healing those old wounds started for me on my 40th birthday when I won a retreat with Davidji. He helped me to see that witnessing my mother that left a successful tech career to pursue her own spiritual path, left her in financial struggle until she died of cancer (I believe from the stress)- left a gaping wound for me. This wound is deep and has kept me paralyzed from starting something of my own. I know why it’s there - and I knew then - and continue to know, this wall is going to be there for me until I do it.
Ironically, I started building my container a few weeks ago- and am meeting with a mentor this week to talk about what I can try or do to take that first step.. next week I am going to be surrounded by founders and CEOs (I’m a panelist at a retreat) and I think that is absolutely the universe’s way of saying - here you go. Do the thing.
I had already been trying all of these things but my physical body couldn’t keep up with chronic illness that had been going on subtly for years but suddenly got worse in 2024. So even with my business providing value by feeling like my own style is enough for those who need it, integrative healing of the root cause of my insecurities through spiritual practice, and finding a safe container, it still wasn’t enough.
The container being initial coaching container with some group sessions and some 1:1 sessions with my own container of experimenting with trial and error alone with common strategies for growing my business. So I unfortunately don’t know with realistic strategies that I can get past this ever. I don’t trust the people who say every chronic illness can be solved by simple detoxes, superfoods, or things that have often already been tried.
I've been battling my own version of this. Acceptance of whats happening, alongside continuing to try different things, seems to be the best recipe to get through it that I have found
Scott, I really appreciate how you framed agency here—not as force, but as expanding what we allow ourselves to experience, see, and choose.
I also loved how you described the invisible structure we dress our lives with—the Ego—as an Inner Wall that we can expand at will.
It beautifully mirrors what we explore in Heart Leadership: how presence and inner peace open the field of what’s possible. Grateful to be part of your journey.
So much of this resonates with my experience over the last few years. Even in trying to better ourselves, and raise our agency, we modern western humans seem blind to our own progress being intimately tied to that of everyone else. We virtue signal, seek power to “manifest change”, amass knowledge which is ultimately to elevate ourselves. Only through service to others, do we ultimately find our own path forward. It’s a difficult lesson, one I’m still working on.
We’re all still working on it!!
Great post, thanks for sharing this.
We are the soil and the soul.
Reading this makes me nervous in a good way.. I just got Brian’s book and am ready to dive in this week!
I know already exactly where my wall has been and continues to be- and it’s exactly, exactly as you and Brian have stated- I have to expand beyond the wall- and it’s absolutely terrifying but I know it’s the way.
Healing those old wounds started for me on my 40th birthday when I won a retreat with Davidji. He helped me to see that witnessing my mother that left a successful tech career to pursue her own spiritual path, left her in financial struggle until she died of cancer (I believe from the stress)- left a gaping wound for me. This wound is deep and has kept me paralyzed from starting something of my own. I know why it’s there - and I knew then - and continue to know, this wall is going to be there for me until I do it.
Ironically, I started building my container a few weeks ago- and am meeting with a mentor this week to talk about what I can try or do to take that first step.. next week I am going to be surrounded by founders and CEOs (I’m a panelist at a retreat) and I think that is absolutely the universe’s way of saying - here you go. Do the thing.
Really appreciate the self awareness and vulnerability here. Awareness is most of the battle and sounds like you have it...time to go do the thing!
I had already been trying all of these things but my physical body couldn’t keep up with chronic illness that had been going on subtly for years but suddenly got worse in 2024. So even with my business providing value by feeling like my own style is enough for those who need it, integrative healing of the root cause of my insecurities through spiritual practice, and finding a safe container, it still wasn’t enough.
The container being initial coaching container with some group sessions and some 1:1 sessions with my own container of experimenting with trial and error alone with common strategies for growing my business. So I unfortunately don’t know with realistic strategies that I can get past this ever. I don’t trust the people who say every chronic illness can be solved by simple detoxes, superfoods, or things that have often already been tried.
I've been battling my own version of this. Acceptance of whats happening, alongside continuing to try different things, seems to be the best recipe to get through it that I have found
My red line is twisty and swirling as my path I’ve traversed towards high agency and high consciousness -
Yet my little brain can’t get thru your long post
- in one sitting . Your words are landing- securely - and i welcome your encouragement on human potential . Thanks! - i will bookmark to reread later
thanks Mary!
For me conducting zoom groups and live streams might be what moves the wall. I resist that maybe because it’s moving deeper into leadership.
Your title reminds me of Jakes substack - he offers a blueprint for living with S.A.G.E. - check it out here https://open.substack.com/pub/jakeeagle/p/where-we-go-from-here-personal-agency?r=4azkaf&utm_medium=ios
Scott, I really appreciate how you framed agency here—not as force, but as expanding what we allow ourselves to experience, see, and choose.
I also loved how you described the invisible structure we dress our lives with—the Ego—as an Inner Wall that we can expand at will.
It beautifully mirrors what we explore in Heart Leadership: how presence and inner peace open the field of what’s possible. Grateful to be part of your journey.