Love this brother! Great insights as always. I've experienced something similar at the end of last year. Found myself battling a series of health issues and symptoms that I never dealt with before. It was a torturous season navigating it but I came to the same understanding that carried me through - God/Source/Universe was forging me and making me stronger. It was all part of the path
Thanks for sharing this practice. Glad you have found your way through it, and also sorry you had to face this perfect storm.
I’m deep in my own inquiry about the relationship between major life challenges and the transformational role they often play in our continued development.
I find myself holding a personal paradox: some things should really never have happened to me (or any person) AND at the same time I am deeply grateful for the role they’ve played “for me” in my conscious development. Both are true.
I’m curious if you find allowing both is helpful or if you’ve found that your “for me” practice has led to an experience where you can’t even identify with not being okay with the past any more?
Sidenote: This topic also gets me thinking about the lack of communal initiatory rituals in our culture. Now it’s mostly left to life to hand us the catastrophes that lead to our waking up. Hopefully something we’re collectively moving back towards. 🙏
My current view is I don't really think there are accidents or things that shouldn't have happened. I think we chose major difficulties before we incarnate as part of our development. It doesn't mean that experiencing and accepting these things isn't still incredibly difficult.
I can't sign that I am 100% over what has happened to me. There are flares where I get frustrated by a feeling of setback. However, these are much less frequent and I don't really think about the past very often like I used to. Maybe at some point, I'll be completely over it. Not there yet though.
I hear you on the lack of communal initiation. I'm not sure it'd prevent these things from happening, but atleast we'd have a container to go through it with others. We have a lot of therapy and 1:1 support available, but its not quite the same. Men's groups have been helpful for me in supporting this void.
Ah interesting. Very expansive perspective. Thanks for sharing.
It invited me into the depth of experiencing of myself as inseparable from the whole universal process, and from there, I agree all possible paths feel whole and non-accidental/"for me".
I still find myself squaring fatalism with the agency I feel to actively unfold possible futures. I feel like I'm in a dance between pre-ordained experiences vs experiences I (the universe) am potentiating. I'm wondering can both be true?
No need to respond again and appreciate the share some thoughts here on this topic that feels important to me. Wishing you well 🌀🌌
I love this practice Scott thanks for sharing. I have been going through all the traumas and challenges of my life in this way. This is inner alchemy :). One of the biggest blessings is the level of understanding and compassion that you develop for other humans. I feel that after going through these challenges you can shine the light for others with a depth of wisdom only experience can give. When a shaman looks at you he doesn't see a problem he sees a gifted healer. Doesn't take away from the pain and frustration, but gives it arms, legs, heart and purpose. :)
It's sooo easy to fall into victimhood, and the challenge is that there's always further to fall; this practice is a practical, actionable way to break the fall and create a foothold to climb from, rather than falling deeper into the abyss. Thank you for sharing.
Ooooh fuck. I just had to quit a medication I was on because it had me raging, anxious and feeling like a victim of everything and everyone every day. Was just trying to get some help for my ADHD induced exhaustion and the drug gave me energy but also made my entire perspective on reality intensely negative and I can see more clearly now that the last few months have been a nightmare mood wise. It was when I started feeling suicidal last week that I finally snapped out of it and quit. I was just going through the motions of living like a robot. Felt almost like I was in a fugue state towards the end. Its been a week off the med and I am starting to feel a bit more like my previous curious and loving self again. I am still emotionally reckoning from this experience and honestly a little angry at myself that I tried to alter my brain chemistry to be a better worker bee for capitalism and accidentally changed my entire personality for the worse in the process. I couldn't even see it from the outside and had nobody checking in on me. So glad I saw your post on this tonight. I am probably done with psychiatric medications after this. I need to find other ways to deal with my struggles than taking pills. The risks are not worth the rewards.
Love this brother! Great insights as always. I've experienced something similar at the end of last year. Found myself battling a series of health issues and symptoms that I never dealt with before. It was a torturous season navigating it but I came to the same understanding that carried me through - God/Source/Universe was forging me and making me stronger. It was all part of the path
Thanks for sharing this practice. Glad you have found your way through it, and also sorry you had to face this perfect storm.
I’m deep in my own inquiry about the relationship between major life challenges and the transformational role they often play in our continued development.
I find myself holding a personal paradox: some things should really never have happened to me (or any person) AND at the same time I am deeply grateful for the role they’ve played “for me” in my conscious development. Both are true.
I’m curious if you find allowing both is helpful or if you’ve found that your “for me” practice has led to an experience where you can’t even identify with not being okay with the past any more?
Sidenote: This topic also gets me thinking about the lack of communal initiatory rituals in our culture. Now it’s mostly left to life to hand us the catastrophes that lead to our waking up. Hopefully something we’re collectively moving back towards. 🙏
Thanks man for the kind words.
My current view is I don't really think there are accidents or things that shouldn't have happened. I think we chose major difficulties before we incarnate as part of our development. It doesn't mean that experiencing and accepting these things isn't still incredibly difficult.
I can't sign that I am 100% over what has happened to me. There are flares where I get frustrated by a feeling of setback. However, these are much less frequent and I don't really think about the past very often like I used to. Maybe at some point, I'll be completely over it. Not there yet though.
I hear you on the lack of communal initiation. I'm not sure it'd prevent these things from happening, but atleast we'd have a container to go through it with others. We have a lot of therapy and 1:1 support available, but its not quite the same. Men's groups have been helpful for me in supporting this void.
Ah interesting. Very expansive perspective. Thanks for sharing.
It invited me into the depth of experiencing of myself as inseparable from the whole universal process, and from there, I agree all possible paths feel whole and non-accidental/"for me".
I still find myself squaring fatalism with the agency I feel to actively unfold possible futures. I feel like I'm in a dance between pre-ordained experiences vs experiences I (the universe) am potentiating. I'm wondering can both be true?
No need to respond again and appreciate the share some thoughts here on this topic that feels important to me. Wishing you well 🌀🌌
I love this practice Scott thanks for sharing. I have been going through all the traumas and challenges of my life in this way. This is inner alchemy :). One of the biggest blessings is the level of understanding and compassion that you develop for other humans. I feel that after going through these challenges you can shine the light for others with a depth of wisdom only experience can give. When a shaman looks at you he doesn't see a problem he sees a gifted healer. Doesn't take away from the pain and frustration, but gives it arms, legs, heart and purpose. :)
Thanks will. I agree the compassion and appreciate for others is one of the greatest byproducts of the all this work…often hard earned, but worth it!
It's sooo easy to fall into victimhood, and the challenge is that there's always further to fall; this practice is a practical, actionable way to break the fall and create a foothold to climb from, rather than falling deeper into the abyss. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks Rebecca!!!
Ooooh fuck. I just had to quit a medication I was on because it had me raging, anxious and feeling like a victim of everything and everyone every day. Was just trying to get some help for my ADHD induced exhaustion and the drug gave me energy but also made my entire perspective on reality intensely negative and I can see more clearly now that the last few months have been a nightmare mood wise. It was when I started feeling suicidal last week that I finally snapped out of it and quit. I was just going through the motions of living like a robot. Felt almost like I was in a fugue state towards the end. Its been a week off the med and I am starting to feel a bit more like my previous curious and loving self again. I am still emotionally reckoning from this experience and honestly a little angry at myself that I tried to alter my brain chemistry to be a better worker bee for capitalism and accidentally changed my entire personality for the worse in the process. I couldn't even see it from the outside and had nobody checking in on me. So glad I saw your post on this tonight. I am probably done with psychiatric medications after this. I need to find other ways to deal with my struggles than taking pills. The risks are not worth the rewards.
I wish you all the best and encourage you to seek help from some form of therapist / guide / counselor while you are navigating this