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It’s been about a month since I’ve been back in the game running a business.
One theme I have noticed throughout my consciousness journey is how my work circumstances support my spiritual journey. This isn’t just about giving me the lessons I need to learn, but also creating a supportive container for the growth to occur.
When I went through my first hard core dark night of the soul, I was fortunate enough to have co-founders to keep the business steady. If I’m being honest, I was pretty unproductive during this time. Each morning I’d try to will myself to former levels of output, but it felt like there was no gas in the tank. If I had worked at someone else’s company I would have probably been canned.
Thankfully my wonderful business partners Dan and Greg supported me. They understood what I was going through and were cool with me contributing the best I could while I navigated the tumultuous challenges I was going through.
When I finally crawled out of this, my next chapter was learning how to create from a place of healthy ambition. After decades of speed racing up the achievement ladder, this felt like relearning how to walk. I had to relearn basic things like how to post on social media without feeling confused or icky.
Embodying this new way of building things was probably a 2 year odyssey. A decent chunk of this period occurred during my time at Salesforce after we sold our company. Though post-acquisition life is often called “vesting in peace,” I wouldn’t exactly call this peaceful. Learning how to create from inspiration, love, and joy as my primary mode was often scary as shit. However, the grace provided by my circumstance created spaciousness for experimentation.
Last week I found myself researching the latest technologies in the recruiting space because these are the waters I’m swimming in with Conscious Talent. A part of me was looking at these high flying venture companies thinking:
“I know how to do this. I could probably be building one of these high growth AI plays right now.”
The thing is that building a venture backed business wouldn’t be very supportive for me right now. A few months ago, I entered another dark night period. I’ve been getting my butt kicked physically, emotionally, and mentally - all while parenting a two year old and starting a new business. It has been grueling. I’m here for it though.
There are so many unconscious saboteurs coming into view that are unwinding. It feels like I am taking off yet another weighted vest I didn’t know I was wearing.
Moving through this has required a lot of time, attention, and self-care. Conscious Talent is the perfect type of business for this period of life. I haven’t raised money from other people, I’m my own boss, and I can take things at a pace that honors what I’m going through.
Yet again, somehow my career circumstances are totally aligned to the needs of my spiritual development.