Learning To Trust Life Unconditionally

Practical ideas to increasingly remain peaceful and trusting as the great unknown unfolds

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Lack of trust for life is one of the biggest sources of suffering that I can think of. 

It’s the bedrock of so many challenging emotions like anxiety and fear. 

It also plays an immense role in our patterns of responding to life in ways like grasping, trying to control, and needing to know.

Of all the shifts I’ve made since working on my consciousness, working on learning to trust life unconditionally has to be one of most impactful.

I wanted to share some things that have been helpful to me.

What Does Unconditional Trust Look Like

The default orientation of most people you meet is not unconditional trust. It seems like an inconceivable possibility or even irresponsible posture in modern society.

What does trusting life unconditionally look like?

It’s a way of being. You view the events around you as unfolding for a benevolent purpose, in perfect timing. This doesn’t mean you don’t encounter some bouts of discomfort. But any feeling of disappointment, anxiety, or frustration is very quickly overcome. This is supported by the understanding and humility that you cannot see the totality of things. 

As trust grows, you are able to maintain a sense of inner peace and ease I call the natural state for a wider range of experiences.

I’ve written about the practice of surrender before. I think working on the quality of unconditional trust is actually what empowers you to surrender fully. They are related and feed each other, but are distinct. Without trust, surrendering to life as it is would be quite hard.

How Do You Cultivate Unconditional Trust?

I’m sure there are many ways people learn to trust life unconditionally, but for me this was truly an intentional effort.

The method I have found most useful for working on trust is to notice when I’m not trusting and then work with the underlying pattern to transform the energy-information.

I’ve written about the specifics of the methods I use such as accepting, releasing, & replacing or self inquiry.

Here are abbreviated versions:

Accept, release, replace 

• Notice doubt, anxiety, etc → move from thinking to feeling → locate the energy / constriction in my body → maintain a gentle gaze while opening to, accepting it, relaxing into → allow the energy to run its course and replace with the intention and feeling of unconditional trust

Self inquiry

• Notice doubt, anxiety, etc → ask the stillness “who is this one who does not trust” → observe what arises → realize there’s no one there → consciously replace with the intention and feeling of unconditional trust

I’ve done these exercises in my inner space in the presence of doubt probably hundreds of times. They really do work! I can genuinely say I have shifted from a militant controller of life to someone quite trusting of life these days.

It’s worth mentioning that at first, the notion of “replacing or feeling trust” in these experience is done as a conscious action. Eventually, as the presence of the true Self reveals itself and becomes a more prominent contributor in your awareness, the quality of trust emerges automatically. It’s just there because its intrinsic to your deeper being. This takes time though so don’t be discouraged if this doesn’t happen immediately and you need to do it consciously.

Alternative Methods of Working With Doubt

I think there are a lot of people who advise other methods of working with a lack of trust.

Affirmations

One is writing affirmations. I did various forms of this for years. To be honest, I got some okay results, but I never really upshifted into a new paradigm where I felt a change in my being. The shifts in trust were temporary vs. permanent.

I think of my consciousness as a giant reference library of energy-information. To change the composition of the library, you need to acknowledge and purify what’s there vs. just throw layers on top of it. Otherwise, unhelpful energy-information like doubt is always going to be there even if it's operating behind the scenes unconsciously. 

Another visual comparison I find helpful is viewing the subconscious like a barrel of tar. One approach is to take the tar and purify it into water through the internal alchemy described above. If you just add water, maybe it thins out for awhile, but you’re still going to have a layer of soot at the bottom of your water. And trust me, life will find a way to stir it up!

Surrender

I’m clearly advocate of surrender and think they’re various depths.

In my experience, extending the inner process of meeting what is by inserting information aligned with the true Self enhances the process. If we all we do is shrug our shoulders and “let go” when life brings you inconveniences or disturbances, I’m not sure the emergent level of trust is quite the same. This is really in reference to the 1st level of surrender which occurs on the intellectual plane vs. the energy-information level.

There is a bit of do-ership in this approach relative to merely being the recipient of grace to instigate transformation, but it seems like conscious action may be helpful until it is no longer needed. At a certain depth, the emergence of intrinsic trust is automatic because the true Self has reveals itself. This becomes evident in experientially as you advance in the described exercises.

Everyone’s path is different so you can only experiment and see what is most supportive for you.

So next time you…

• Aren’t sure where your career is going

• Don’t know how you’re going to pay your bills

• Wonder if you ever will find your partner or will die alone

• Unsure if your health will improve

• Feel nervous in a social situation

• Aren’t sure whether it’s going to work out

• Find yourself obsessing trying to fight against reality by frenetically doing

…try to notice you are experiencing doubt! This creates the opportunity to work with it.

The last example around fighting/figuring out is important because it shows how doubt is often covert.

My teacher has the amazing, and sometimes frustrating capacity, of seeing right through my bullshit and then calling me on it. This is what good spiritual teachers do.

A big topic of discussion for a long time was all the great lengths I would go to in order to overcome health challenges; Doctors, healers, diets, sauna, detoxes, energy medicine, bodyworkers, nature…you name it, I did it.

“Can you see how you’re trying to figure it out?”

Yes.

“Can you accept you’re not trusting right now?”

Yes, but I feel like shit.

“You know that what’s really bothering you is the thoughts and lack of trust, not what’s going on in your body, right? Can you accept your lack of trust is causing you to resist?”

..(sigh), yes.

Anytime we are flopping around life like a fish trying to solve things, there’s usually doubt there. Take it from someone who had an illustrious career of operating this way! The alternative is to move towards things from a place of love, inspiration, and joy. The actions may look the same, but the inner texture feels quite different.

If you sense you’re exhibiting any of these behaviors, it could be an opportunity to pause and accept you’re experiencing doubt. This creates the opportunity to open to it and replace it with the feeling and intention of trust.

Do this for at least a year every time you notice you’re not trusting in your inner space and you will feel a lot better. Accepting reality as it is will also become easier and habituated.

Other Things You Can Do To Help With Cultivating Unconditional Trust

Consciousness transformation is often an amalgamation of different things that all work together. Everyone’s recipe is different. I just share what works for me here and hope others find it useful.

Working with patterns as described here would definitely be the primary ingredients for me. 

However, there are some other things you might consider that might be helpful.

Write down the 3 most challenging things that happened to you in the past 2 years. 

What did they reveal to you about yourself? How did you change? Was there anything positive that came out of them that you didn’t expect?

For me, the 3 most challenging things the past 2 years were:

• Losing my health and vitality for a long period of time

• Challenges endured in the process of selling my company

• Persistent fears around something happening to my body

It is very abnormal to look at something like having poor health for over a year and trust that is is happening for you. It prevented me from being productive, engaging with friends, and feeling inspired to do anything for many days. However, by going through that process I became aware of MANY attachments, patterns, and subconscious freeloaders that had been invisible pulling the strings on my life. Now I don’t really deal with that stuff any more. That’s not to say there isn’t more there. I’m sure there is.

Would I have been able to make these shifts without such a dramatic intervention like physical illness? I don’t know. We don’t really get to choose how consciousness conspires in order to create the circumstances we need to evolve. It’s my experience that the more we accept this fact, the easier the the whole thing is. It’s when we fight and doubt, that things can feel quite difficult.

The purpose of life is not to get your (conditioned) preferences met

Why do you think you’re here on Academy Earth?

This has a big determinant on what your outlook will be.

My belief is that we are eternal beings that temporarily come into this form-experience in order to learn, evolve, experience, and contribute. 

Notice how I didn’t say we “come here to create the perfect life and get everything I want.” 

When you adopt an evolutionary viewpoint, it’s just way easier to trust life. When uncomfortable things come up, they’re recontextualized as:

• A growth opportunity

• Part of a bigger plan that may be even better that you cannot see

• Something that might benefit collective evolution vs. just you

• Multiple (likely)

I wouldn’t go far as saying this outlook means there’s no bad shit that can happen to you, but sometimes it genuinely feels that way.

Some people look at this viewpoint and try to refute it, almost trying prove there is objectively bad stuff. It’s kind of funny to me. Reality is a subjective dance and if this approach absolves suffering, isn’t that a good thing? Kind of feels like you’re missing the point.

View trust for life like a relationship

In relationships, trust is built over time. It’s forged by going through stuff!

Trusting life works precisely the same way. 

The process is gradual. It requires small acts of trust, taking progressively bold steps, and verifying that everything is okay.

So don’t get discouraged if you find yourself toiling away at trusting and feel like you’re not getting very far. This really takes time!

The main concept that I hope to highlight here is how you can use the moments you’re not trusting as opportunities. Build the muscle of recognizing these and transforming the underlying energy-information.

Treating this as a top priority over a long time horizon is what has been most helpful to me.

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If you like my writing, feel free to click the ❤️ or 🔄 button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack 🙏